Vaccination against Boredom: Dose I

Disclaimer: The author does not own any responsibility of the consequences if the readers condone the warning given below.

Warning: The author wants to warn his esteemed readers that reading this post further might lead to AIBS (Anubhav’s Injected Boredom Syndrome) of which there is no cure. So please read and play safely. (And I am not winking)




Boredom: A dreaded and common disease found in most homes.

Symptoms: When your mother starts swearing you, Like…
“You eat and Sleep and then eat again, these are only activities you do, what is your contribution to the house.”(If it sounds quite innocuous, wait until you hear the Hindi version of it.)

Causes: Your training has finished and you have nothing do and you cant go out coz its raining cats, dogs, bats and all the animals of the world.(You can include men too.)


Now if you don't have a clue of what I said above, give me space to bow, because that was exactly what was intended.

Obtained by most surreptitious means, here are world’s ten best ways of killing boredom.


10. Surf through B school sites except the IIM’s and IIPM’s, because former you know are the best and latter you know are the worst. Read more about JAM’s revelation of IIPM’s tall claims.

9. Read TOI and wonder, if there is more to SEE in the paper than to read.

8. Shift to the other box and end up watching a Hindi movie with its core theme being the Love vs Money debate. (The readers are requested not to indulge in the debate in the comment box. The debate is never ending just like Sharapova Vs Hilton.)

7. In case you forgot to take a bath( quite understandable) , hit the most water logged areas of the city with your friends and play a semi-tsunami fight with the four wheelers( Sorry no explanations for the uninitiated.)

6. After the above activity, you might want to take your vehicle a mechanic, because our vehicle’s carburetor might have more water than your clothes.

5. Visit the city’s largest bookstore; browse the best authors and famous names. Realizing the temporary unavailability of funds, return with an issue of JAM magazine.

4. Realizing the pathetic condition of the state due to excessive rains, surf on net to find ways of rainwater harvesting, crib and curse the state government for overlooking the main issues.

I mean how you can explain the fact that a state that has heavy torrential rains every year also has parts, which face drought during summer. Every year rains disturb lives and all they do is evacuate people and give a flood warning. Then next year you read in papers in summer that women walk more 20km to fetch water to due water table depletion.( Sorry could not stop myself)


3. Bloghop, publish weird comments here and there and realize your blog needs a post to evade extinction.

2. Compile the list of things you did the previous day, add some crap at the beginning Whoa!!! ….and you have a post ready.

1. Read the above post and comment if you haven't already.


P.S: I have stopped writing post scriptures which dominate my comment box , more than the post.

Simple...

I have always felt that most important learning’s of life are conveyed in the most simplest of manners.

I experienced this twice within the past day.

First, while reading the book, “Who moved my cheese” by Spencer Johnson. The book talks about change and ways to deal with it. The book albeit written in very simple manner is very thought provoking, perhaps you might have already read what the book tries to convey a thousand times before ,but it still leaves a big impression. It is pretty small (even smaller than my class notes book :D) and you can easily finish it in an hour or two.

I felt the same when I read Steve Jobs’ commencement address at the Stanford University. Again, as simple, short and sweet it could be; in three stories of his life he teaches some of most important lessons of life.

You can read it here.

Now there is another small change occurring in my life. I am getting a new bike …
With so many brands out there, I am a bit confused now, so I need your help.

If you are a man, tell me a bike you would like to take your girlfriend on…

And if you are a woman tell me bike you would want your man to have…

What’s more, you could win some real good prizes, if your suggestion matches with my final choice.

If you are a woman, you get a free ride on my bike if you ever land in Baroda.

And if you are a man…err...Psst….Do you have a sister...?

So use the comment box at your will, as participation is free of cost…:D

Nothing much to say...

Ok… (So now, I even start my posts with ok.)
However, seriously speaking ‘OK’ is most comfortable word in the English language, when you have nothing to say, just say “Ok”...on the contrary when you have so much to shout out at somebody and you do not know where to start…say “F**k.”.I mean it is probably the word with most number of uses, you can use it anywhere and it just fits. We will talk more about its uses some other day.

Now do not smirk that was not a joke and don’t worry, the next time I crack a joke, I will tell you beforehand when to smile just like the Maharashtra State Highways. Just Beside the speed Breakers (Silencer Breakers would be more prudent) they put a board which says..

“Ikde Gati Avrodhak Ahe”. (Meaning There is a speed breaker here)….so when u hear a loud sound you look around to see the board.

Or may be something like Mallika Sherwat movies which tell you before hand that all the money the producer had was used for shooting in exotic locations and to pay Mallika so none was left for her clothes. I wonder, if designers they hire know the ‘D’ of designing, they always get the wrong measurements for her bikini.( Now if you can find a pun in that, boy you must get your imagination levels above Gutter kind.)
Another important thing is that they don’t even get a script writer, the stories are always borrowed from Hollywood movies.

I promise I will not talk a bit more about Mallika, just because she makes a joke of herself, every time she appears on the screen, doesn’t mean that all jokes have to be centered around her.

Let us talk about Maria Sharapova; I heard that she has got herself a pair of golden shoes and sweatshirt with golden zipper for Wimbledon. Now all she needs is golden balls and a racquet to play golden tennis, something never seen before.( Please don’t think much to get the real meaning out of words, they just mean what they are supposed to mean.)

She also has five bodyguards, and I want to catch hold of the person who told that in this competitive world there is a lack of job opportunities for men like me.

Ok, now let your imaginations run a bit jungle (not wild, that will be more superlative...)
What will happen if every woman in this world has a male bodyguard? Pause and think…

Ans. We would abolish two of the most dreaded evils of modern society rape and lesbianism. ;)

In addition, what would happen if every man in this world has a female bodyguard?

Ans. Doesn’t that already exist, I mean then what is marriage.


I read in magazine a few days ago that Indian men fall for fair skin. I seriously don’t agree with that, it’s really unfair, I mean how could somebody say that, I don’t know why women and sometimes men fail to understand men in general. The truth of the matter is …

That Indian men just fall for skin, be it any type, I mean we have to be fair to all. Now tell me who the ‘fairer’ sex…is

Finally the tag by Krishna( Actually that's come to my rescue,I don't have any more crap left for this post).But the questions are a bit too tough so probably I’ll just a make few finer adjustments.

1) Three words with which u can Define Everything around you
Beautiful sexy women.

2) Three words that define U
Ans: Tall , smart and handsome..
(ok I see my brother grin in background)
so on second thoughts

smart, averagely handsome.

3) Three screen Names u have
Ans.
Bond( You said screen names..)
Anubhav
Anu

4) Three people who changed the way u look at the world

Sorry Question too hard..subsituted with,..( I mean would’nt it be great if you could subsitute all the hard questions in the examination with some whose answers you know..:D)

Q. Three essentials you would take on vacation trip to a lonely island.

Ans.
Miss Universe
Miss World
And not Miss earth but Maggi noodles..damm don’t you need food.

Skipping questions 5 and 6, actually we engineers don’t need to answer all questions to pass, we can always pass GRACEfully


7)Three words ur mouth cant do without
Ans:

Women
Vanguardan Leveossa
Ya..

8)Three words ur mouth cant utter

Ans: I can utter anything and everything , take me for that.


9)Three careers u have dreamt urself in:

Ans:

Doubles partner Maria Sharapova/ Sania Mirza
Costume Designer Salma Hayek/Mallika Sherwat
Still Dreaming of above two.


10)Three reasons why i qualify to be the Anubhav

Ans: Sorry that’s what I have to planned to write in my book.Can’t tell you the secrets of the future best seller I am writing.


Tagged to any lazy soul like me, who needs matter for his/her blogposts.


Moral Of Post:
1)Whenever I don't have much to say , I end up with long posts
2)Before reading my posts it's safer to read the last few lines to get prepared for the agony.

Some Answers ...

I thank everybody who tried to answer the questions posted by me in my last blog. Before I present my views on those matters, let me draw your attention to a very serious matter related to proletarian weavers of silk, based in Varnasi, aired on NDTV today.

As tried to point out in my previous post that along with some benefits the open door policy has brought it has also delivered a deathblow to some of the local small-scale industries which were not competent enough or well protected. That is what has happened to silk weavers of Varanasi responsible for developing the famous “Benarsi Sarees” brand. The power loom industry and import of cheap yarn from china has virtually ended their business and has put a question on their survival. They have resorted to selling blood to feed their families. Now the story surfaced back in 2004 but government has failed to take any action to save these workers, who are masters of this rare traditional art.



You can catch the full story here. Please do read it.





To each his own view,as I try to answer the comments posted on my previous post, I am just trying to present my views and don't intend to offend anybody. Here are the comments posted on my previous post for your reference.

I do believe that our country has strong and one of largest forex reserves in form of NRI’s,still I think more than the money we also need the brains for our country to progress.


Vikas, I agree everybody is entitled for their own happiness but they are also responsible for their country’s progress, and it is from graduates of IIT’s and IIM’s like you, the best brains of our country, our country’s expects the most. A mother expects the more from her best child. However, I agree most responsible people do contribute in one way or the other.

Kroopa , how do you define the level comfort.

Krishna I will do the tag thing in one or two days, give me some time.

Deepa , Consumers are made to feel that they are the king of markets; but most often ministers (read advertisements) mislead these kings.

Niki , Japan’s policy has made Japanese industries strong in the world, by promoting and strong domestic competition and protection policies. Look at Toyoto in fifty years it has risen at par or may be stronger than GM and ford which are older and bigger than it is.

Srivastan , Probably above story will tell about my view towards open door policiy.

I strongly believe in the Buddhist philosophy that often THE MIDDLE WAY is the best way. I think this ideology is the solution most of the problems our country faces today.

Time the need of the Hour

Some years ago, I used bunk school, then I started bunking college and today the story continues as I bunk my office too: D and they say I do not grow up. Don’t the above events show the remarkable progress made by me.

Now as it might occur to you I do not have time blog these days, so before I get time write a comprehensive post on some topics, which I thought to write on, I, want you to ponder upon some questions.

1. I know “brain drain” is an outdated debate topic but do you think with opportunities growing in our country, is it justified on the part graduates to earn for other countries( I mean to move abroad), when the nation needs them most in its journey from a developing country to a developed one.

2. Do you think that kind of advertising going on these days aims to create needs where there are not any? Do you think consumers have become dustbins ?

3. Do you think the open door policy has benefited our country? Countries like USA and Britain having practiced protectionism for 100 years now propagate free markets after their own domestic industry has become very strong.

4. Why do you think a country, which had some greatest revolutionaries in the world some fifty years ago today, lacks people with nationalist spirit if it does?

Think Beyond...

The ethos of a breed, though rare in the world but found abundantly in our country always piques me. I am talking about those old men, wearing Kurta- Pajamas, who think that wearing traditional dresses and having orthodox beliefs makes them more Indian, whom we vote to lead our country.

Most politicians of our country whether they belong to BJP or Congress have similar tactics/activities though they claim to have views oceans apart. All are big opportunists. Every time either of these parties is in opposition, the main issue on which they cry about or criticize the ruling party is secularism/communalism. Whenever there is a lull or there are out of issues to yield fire on the other they open this debate.

The recent stint by Mr. L.K Advani is on similar lines. On his recent trip to Pakistan, he made a controversial statement about M.A Jinnah. (Now I am not interested in going details of what he said or debating on the same.).The statement invited an array of reactions. Fundamentalists RSS and VHP are always waiting for such issues. Then Mr. Advani resigns from the post of party president. This is followed a day or two of cribbing, crying and requests made to him to return by party members and finally as loved by most Indians and shown in Indian movies we have happy ending, Mr. Advani is back as the party president and that completes a week of emotional and ‘controversial’ drama in Indian Politics.

Does this evoke a sense of déjà vu? These things have become a pastime for BJP, every time there is a lull in politics. You may recall Ms. Uma Bharti’s episode on similar lines some months back.

All I want to say is that there are several issues regarding the core social and economic development of our country that need to be raised; thought at and solved. Why cant these politicians actually grow up...?


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I recently came to know that these days they have a section reserved for Bloggers in white house Press conferences. Do u think we can have one too or its long time before Indian Bloggers reach that level of maturity and capability?


Finally while surfing I came across some great dialogues/quotes from one of my hot favorite movies A Beautiful mind…Here are some

1. There has to be a mathematical explanation for how bad that tie is.

2. Despite my privileged upbringing, I'm actually quite well-balanced. I have a chip on both shoulders.

3. We need results! Publishable, applicable results!

4. Classes will dull your mind, destroy the potential for authentic creativity.

5. Terrified, Petrified, Mortified, Stupified... by you.

6. Adam Smith... was wrong.

7. I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that. I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex.

8. I find you very attractive. Your assertiveness tells me that you feel the same way about me. But ritual remains that we must do a series of platonic actions before we can have intercourse. But all I really want to do is have sex with you as soon as possible.

9. Give me a moment to redefine my girlish notions of romance.

10. I need to believe, that something extraordinary is possible.


11. I've made the most important discovery of my life. It's only in the mysterious equation of love that any logical reasons can be found. I'm only here tonight because of you. You're the only reason I am... you're all my reasons.

12. Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart.

13. It's the same with your dreams and nightmares. You have to feed them to keep them alive




My favorites are the 11th and 12th one. And I can’t even imagine myself having the guts for saying 7th or 8th one to a girl: terrified , petrified by the reaction which might leave me mortified and stupifiied…


You can find quotes from your favorite movie at wikiquote a sister concern project of wikepedia.See the link to wikepedia in my side bar.( Ya's...thats returning a favor..)

An ordinary day....

Warning: This post is supposed to be completed in 10 minutes. The speech is bad, grammar does not exist, and spell check is left to the reader.

6:00 am: Yes dad, I am awake…just thinking…five minutes more….And bus comes late these days…

8:00: Just in time for the company Bus… (Yes, I was not talking about the school bus)…

As I enter I hear,“ Jo Wada kiya who Nibana padeka….tumko aana padega.”.( Sorry peeps cant even try its English translation….)

And the dreams continue….Yes Sania I am coming

Yes sweetheart you will win the Wimbledon don’t worry….Maria will coach you….won’t you darling and Maria the next French is yours ,I’ll buy all the referees…

9:15: Bhai sahab….What the hell are you talking Sania..

Bhai Sahab company Aa gaya..(We have the reached the company….wake up..)

Shit I was just going to make my move…

9.30: Snakes….??( Ya that’s what the Training guy told me…We will give you Bus facilities, lunch and Snakes(Oh actually snacks…)

9:45 am: Ignited Minds, by APJ Abdul Kalam. A nice book, quite good initially becomes more like his autobiography later. Nevertheless, the man must be admired for his great vision and his contributions. His aim of meeting 1000000 school students says it all about his great personality.

11:45 am: Visit to EGP (Electron Gun Plant…well that summarizes and ends all the tech stuff I remember from the visit). A rather non-technical and more interesting aspect is that unlike other engineering industries Electronic gives equal chances (actually more than equal…) to women on the plant side. Sometimes I feel electronics is not so bad anyway and the Future’s quite ‘fair’ here ( Ya …that was intended)

1:00 pm: Lunch

1:30pm: Plant visit continues...

2:45 pm: A trip around the plant in search for VP’s daughter/ GM’s daughter, DGM‘s will also do, Please anybody’s will do…But no more ATM’s (Aunties Trying to be Models)

3:00 pm: The Mckinsey way by Ethan M. Rasiel. Another great book for anybody who is in interested Business Strategies and Consultancy in particular. (Yes, the company has a great library with the best books for general reading)

4:30: Tea

4:30: Manger's Salary & daughter/ Rachel Hunter/ LK Advani/ Ogilvy & Mather…

5:30: Enter the bus again
“ Chadti jawani Meri chal mastani…”
No dreams this time…Just looking at tired faces, listening to never ending gossips of women and seeing them dreaming for themselves or probably their children.


Now I am embarrassed after reading such great books and coming out with posts like this. I promise a better post in future…just that training and activities that continue after that leave me exhausted.

Kaun Banega Million Dollar Pati...

Didn’t I tell you that stupidity is the only thing that can spread faster than light ? Here is another example…

There is an email which is going on rounds these days and there are good 90% chances that you have already received it .( Ok if you are one of those 10% souls stuck in their solitary confinement ,ping me , I’ll see to it that stupidity reaches you.)

Anyways the mail Talks about a bug that was discovered by a Brazilian. (Now I’ll forward it and say that the bug was discovered by an Indian what’s the heck* Mera Bharat Mahan*…) It claims that Microsoft professionals have no clue to it and they have announced a prize of $1, 00,000 to the person who solves the mystery. (Now do you get the title...)

So waiting to try your programming skills….here, it goes

The mail asks you to open Microsoft Word and do the following ( I am reproducing the exact message…)

“Open a Microsoft Word File and type =rand (200,99)
and then HIT ENTER and wait ...”

Ok no need to wait if you have a supercomputer but if you have one of those used in Indian government offices …you might have to ..wait,wait…and wait..

The result of the operation is that the document is filled with one of the most famous pangram or holalphabetic sentence in the English language

"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog."

Well before pulling your debugging socks, understand that it is NOT A BUG but a HIDDEN UTILITY.

Try typing “=rand(1,1)” and you will see only one such sentence. This works for any rand(x,y).As far as my knowledge goes “rand” is a function in “C” to generate random numbers and this feature is given in word to fill your document with random text , may be to check fonts as the sentence contains all the letters of the english alphabet.

If you think, I was the one who initiated the mail, click here and let Microsoft explain you the feature.

There is another bug, a bit more realistic and related to his one, mentioned on the net (I tried it but the outcome was not what was expected or claimed, but anyways if you find the explanation behind it, do tell me.)

Here’s the link…

Today I got my hands on this wonderful book at the company where I am doing my training. The book is called “Count Your Chickens before They Hatch” by Arindham Chaudhari. I have just started reading it and I found it truly amazing and I really recommend it.

A Training Adventure

Date: June 1, 2005
Time: 6.30 am
Place: Vadodara

The sun rises from west specially to wake me up. As incredulous as it might seem, but I woke up at 6.30 am sharp. I had challenged my Mom that I could do it!
Any ways the reason behind this unprecedented event (at least during my vacations...) was my summer training. Still feeling groggy, I managed to get ready by 8.00. Now most of my friends who are doing training approached the companies through their relatives who were working over there but I managed my training on my own by sending resume and my college letter (ahem!), so I was expecting an interview today.

The company I was supposed to visit was on NH-8, I took a ST bus (a bad choice I must say considering that dad offered me a ride). Now you can judge the condition of these ST buses when I say that every time it passed over mud hole, the strange noises that followed made me believe at the next one all screws might come out and its body would fell apart.( No this not a nut speaking…)

At 9.30 am, I reached my destination. A Huge board read JCT ELECTRONICS LIMITED, MANUFACTURERS OF CTVs, A THAPPAR GROUP VENTURE (sounds boring isn’t it but then I always wanted a manufacturing plant.) After reaching the reception, I was told that there was some meeting going on and I would have to wait. Well out popped my BW (Business World) the only magazine I like to read as I took a seat in the visitor room. Now as I have been subscribing this magazine for more than a year and I Can proudly say that my awesome brain has developed business strategies for a Pani-Puriwallah to Google Inc( Warning might post them one day)..

After some time a HR Guy told me that the head of training department will come in the second shift, so I could leave if I wanted to and report tomorrow at 9.30. Well that was all I wanted to hear and was out in a flash. I felt my old school days, when there would be no teaching on the first day.( Sometimes we didn’t allow any….:))
Next up, I enquired about the company bus to Baroda and was told that I would have to wait for two hrs to catch the next bus. Well I had finished reading my BW copy so waiting was out of question, so the next minute I was on NH-8 all alone, waiting for an adventure ride ahead.

Now I can’t compare myself to Shaan albeit they say, given a chance I could make the clouds cover the sun if not make them rain. But the scene was set for an awesome performance.( National Highway, a college guy needing a lift and to add he had bag too..:) ) So I started walking, singing …“ Tanha Dil..Tanha Safar”…and just when I was getting in the mood, the sun god reminded me that I have to report tomorrow at 9.30 with a hard glare. Therefore, I took a lift and another after some time (well I was 25km away from Baroda) and then an awesome Jeep ride with at least 17 people sitting in it. Finally, a comfortable ride in my own car saw me reach home at 2.30 pm.

Well those rides on my way back, would be high points of the day for me. I just love traveling and frankly speaking, some times I enjoy GC (general compartment) from Surat to Baroda more than Rajdhani from Baroda to New Delhi. For long distance the comfortable, the better but for short distances I prefer more adventurous and lively means.

P.S: Regarding my last post, Krishna inspired me to come out with answers of my own…..I did write in a few but I had to post about today. Expect the answers sometime in future ;)
Waiting for two amazing movies : Parineeta( hope its good) and Finding Neverland .