Those Three Words...

The three words which can express an ocean of thoughts and a sea of emotions.…

The words which represent Quintessence of a vocabulary....

The three words he used everyday but never understood..

Those three words reverberate in his mind..…

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Zzzzzz…..feeling sleepy eh??...wake up??

This might be worst kind of verse you ever stumbled upon, but these are not a king’s musings and I still haven’t traveled back in time to become one.

And most importantly the words aren’t what you are thinking…

Anubhav you #@$%^&&...what the **** is this

Chillax yaar the words are “FUNDOO” and “MAAL”

Maal( adj): No this is not Gujarati derivative of a mall; it is by far the most often used word in my college. It is only used, by the supposedly ‘unfairer’ sex when he extols the opposite sex.

Our college boasts of a huge campus with area running into a figures I can’t count on my fingers (bear my ignorance coz I don’t know the exact area) .

The denizens of the city have unabashedly made it into a jogger’s park. Every morning the middle aged men/women flock the campus with their cool gizmos; I have even thought of a penalizing them for this.(Consider this, many of them don't even know name of the college and don't give a damm to it).

The fairer side (pun unintended) of this unholy act is that some of them are accompanied by their daughters and that is when we sometimes spring into action. As soon as somebody in the first hostel notices something good, he initiates a communication processes faster than CDMA technology. His voice reaches and reverberates in the other hostels making sure that maximum students enjoy the sight. (Do I see an engineer smile?)

You might be tempted to classify the engineers as mopes, but this is ,as we call it a direct result of “ratio error” or the “ratio problem” (all engineers might have understood me).

The quality factor probably is other part of the same issue. And didn’t somebody say “Jeweler is precious than the diamond itself”.. .and man worships beauty. Have you ever wondered why portraits of gods and goddesses are always beautiful? Has anybody ever seen them??…ok too much of philosophical justifications …

FUNDOO ( adj): This word also used very frequently and always giving a tough fight to “maal” for the top spot.

Meaning: It can have several at meanings, judging its widespread use but in its most basic form the word is used to represent a person whose fundamentals are clear and can easily sail through examinations with bare minimum study.

Usage : "I am not a fundoo"

Regional Derivative: "fundoo ché ": Meaning something that is fundoo. Ché in gujarati means something “that is”…

At this point I must also mention about the college quiz club called Suché :Which in gujarati means “ What is it?” and this name is our tribute to the state we study in.

Where’s the third word you #$$@@## ..oh well that’s was just to give an edge to the title .… I am yet to find a third one which can possibly match the popularity of the above two.

Moral Of All that Crap: Not every post having serious title and some serious stuff written in italics needs to make sense….so next time you read on, be prepared.

P.S: Btw after all that crap I wish to give you guys a small break; as don’t intend be in the blogsphere for at least a fortnight due to my exams…till then please write better posts than this one for me to read and pray for me ,coz your prayers might come in handy for me.

Last but not the least it's happy birthday to Mr. Hugh Hefner a.k.a luky bast**d.Read more about this amazing businessman in my own biography section in the side bar.

P.P.S :Please be free to rant me on this so that i don't come up with such posts in
future..

Time Travel: Back In the times Of Kamasutra

No this not a porno blog explaining you about various positions, ( what’s on your mind ;) ) , And if you didn’t know, I must tell you that only 20 % of Kama Sutra, an ancient Indian text, is on positions and the remainder gives guidance on how to be a good citizen and insights into men and women in relationships.( Please excuse such digressions they mark sudden rebirth of the quizzer in me) .

Ok, So where was I… ah time travel? As much I hate the concept of polygamy, I loath to confess that one of my ephemeral teenage fantasies was to be a promiscuous king cavorting with nubile women. (It’s just a fantasy, I want to mark this in bold and nothing more than that). So even in dreams, what were the possible options I had ?

a. Bump into hefner’s Beverly hills mansion and strike a 60-40 deal.
Considering that we share the same passion and same crush( Marilyn Monroe : Hefner even bought empty space to the left of Monroe's crypt for the pleasure of spending eternity next to his first "Sweetheart." Actually playmates were formerly called sweethearts and Marilyn was the first one….get back Anubhav)

Well this one seems impossible …so only option left is travel back in time to the age of kings .

So here comes the perennial question, "Is Time Travel possible?"
Albert Einstein, with his theory of special relativity, theoretically established possibility of time travel. No one has demonstrated it but no one has ruled it out either.As the genius said “Time slows as an object approaches the speed of light” , so if there was a way to travel faster than the speed of light then you could travel back in time.

For those who have already started exploring wild possibilities of this, here comes the bomb, as of now traveling faster than speed seems impossible so traveling back in time is almost ruled out.

But to travel in future is not as difficult ( Are you nuts???)

No I am quite serious.. Let me introduce the concept of Time Dilation

“Time dilation is the slowing-down of the passage of time as experienced by people or objects moving in relation to an observer”

A famous explanation of concept is twin’s paradox.

Suppose Ram and Shyam ( could not find two more obvious names for the twins) each have a accurate clock ( something like a cesium clock). Now Ram sits in a space ship and travels away from earth at a speed close 80% that of light and comes back after some time, then Ram would as ‘return younger’ to shyam, because according to special relativity time passed faster for Shyam than for Ram.
Confused between Ram and Shyam??

In accurate terms time for person traveling close to speed of light will slow down, so he would be younger than the person who stayed on earth, when he returns.
When astronauts return back from they return into their future , probably just by nano seconds.

People who want to dig more into this, can read about it here.

For a java applet explaining the concept please visit this site.

As for me I would have to wait till science devises a way traveling faster than speed of light. :)

P.S
I had read about this concept of time travel long ago and had almost forgotten it , but moving around in blogsphere I came across this Blog, it had a musing about time and time travel. This inspired me to blog on this topic.

The common man ..

The common man :Unretentive;Apathetic;Fastidious.

This one’s for the common man. You and me….

He forgets – the good ones, the bad ones, and the ugly ones. The common man has most unretentive memory, surrounded by cobwebs of his own worries and tensions he hardly thinks about national issues or about other people. He demands perfection from his cricketing heroes, he gives them godly status. He is easily mislead by the equivocating statements of politicians.

23rd march 2002: Two movies based on Bhagat Singh's life are released on the Indian box office. Bhagat Singh is all over the media. News channels show glimpses of his life and journalists write half page articles on his struggle and his sacrifices.

23rd March 2005: None Of The Newspapers even mention him on his death anniversary.

47% of Indians in today's TOI poll wanted him to step down (even the majority on my site poll say that). He is facing poignant criticism from all over the country. Have we forgotten that Saurav Ganguly is most successful Indian captain ever? Just because he is going through a rough patch , we demand him to step down?. Please recall that poor personal form of captains is nothing new to cricket, especially to Indian cricket, greats like Brian Lara & Sachin Tendulkar have been through the same phase and they weren’t even successful as captains.

Satyatendra Dubey: A common man with uncommon amount of courage. Do you remember this guy who waged a one man battle against corrupt Indian bureaucracy? His soul still awaits justice , Is this the tribute the man deserved.

Ok, Everybody has his own view on denial of visa to Narendra Modi on basis of his alleged involvement in the riots of 2002. But even congress is alleged to have steered the 1984 sikh riots , then why isn’t anyone demanding the Nanavati Commission report to be made public.

Here’s another example : Does anyone remember about the Jessica Lall murder case, Natasha singh murder case, and BMW case. The cases have many things in common.

Jessica Lall murder case: A female bartender and an aspiring model shot dead by Manu Sharma, son of former Union minister Vinod Sharma after she refused to serve him drinks.

BMW Case: Sanjeev Nanda, grandson of former chief of naval staff Admiral S.M. Nanda, allegedly killed six people including two policemen when he rammed his BMW into them on a cold January night.

Natasha Singh, daughter-in-law of senior Congress leader K Natwar Singh, found murdered in a five star hotel in New Delhi


a. They were all based in capital city of our country.
b. All of them are high profile cases involving sons of former or present ministers.
c. Witnesses have turned hostile in all of them.
d. Judgment is still pending in all of them.

I know judicial system in our country is really suffering because of politics and many other factors.
But just blaming the politicians for any everything and anything under the sun is not a solution. It’s because of our apathy towards politics and various other fields such problems have arisen. Let us, as youth of this country be more retentive and cognizant.

There are many things we can do… I’ll reserve that for my future posts…actually feeling too sleepy now, 5.30 am another night out … just can’t stop them.

I am Back….

Neo said that I was sleeping, well actually I was busy, and when an engineer like me says he is busy then you got to agree coz I normally have ample time to waste.

Well I escaped the Test week unscathed, though had some problems with the electrical subjects (Networks never works :) ) but that’s what you can expect from the nefarious Electrical Engineering department of our college ( Thank god I have just two electrical subjects).


UFM (Un-Fair Means)

One of the major factors that helped me in clearing my tests, with absolutely not more than a days study for each subject was, “deskritti”, as I call it, from graffiti: scribbling or drawing on desks. Writing those intricate little details which your volatile memory refuses to remember.

I know it doesn’t etymologically match with graffiti but then who cares :).

In my school life I never used such means and still sometimes repent using them but then with type of pedagogues my department has, with their own ingenious ways of assessment, I guess everything is fair. I remember one of the faculty members commenting after showing us our answer papers, “You should write your papers as if you were a novelist”. Normally they would expect us to produce an exact carbon copy of the textbooks they use and length of answers is always important criterion. Sometimes papers are not even checked and marks are given on basis of past assessment often very biased.

But then life goes on and even I have adapted my own ways to deal with it....

A 'Test' Match with a difference

India is playing a test match with Pakistan these days and on similar lines my faculty would be playing a ‘test week’ against me starting from tomorrow. I have got 6 tests in 5 days.A test of engineering skills like… mugging up everything and vomiting it all in answer book, something I never managed to do all my life. As expected most of my class-mates are busy studying and I don't even know the course for most of my subjects , wasting my time writing useless things like these!!.

“One night stands” as I call them, probably one of the best studying techniques I have learnt in 1.5 years of engineering I have done till now, are the only means I have in this one-sided battle. (Now this too much ….keep a standard of your pjs anubhav…)

Needless to say as much as I expect India to win (or probably draw) I expect myself loose badly.

Anyways I’ll follow up with a more detailed account of this now certain disaster, later this week :).

Here are some interesting links.

This audio piece is a recording of the famous first line Of Nehru’s Independence Day speech. It also has an extract of Jinnah's speech.

This is Nehru announcing news of Mahatma Gandhi’s assassination on the AIR.

This site has a great collection of Swami Vivekananda’s quotes and some of his rare pics.

Would you have invested...

Having a hard time identifying the pic...Well it is Micrsoft corporation in 1978.The leftmost person in the bottom row,with a very childish face is Bill Gates and the bearded guy rightmost in the same row is Paul Allen..

Guess money changes a lot of things...

Jesus and me....

Statutory Warning: Please think twice before reading this, I don't take any responsibility of the consequences.

"He is the only man ever born by way of God putting a seed in the womb of a virgin (Matt. 1:18; Luke 1:35). God put a perfect seed in the womb of Mary so that Jesus would be born without the sin nature that every other human being inherited from the First Adam."

"He is the only man who is called “the Last Adam” (1 Cor. 15:45). As the only-begotten Son of God, Jesus was the genetic equivalent to the first “Son of God,” Adam (Luke 3:38). As the only man born without inherent sin."

Caution: The words below are just my thoughts; they don't represent any community in general. I don't intend to hurt anybody's religious sentiments.

The two pieces of text above I never understood, and nor did I ever understand the concept of original sin. What is so sinning about the natural birth of human being? Is the anguish a woman bears while giving birth sinning (or as they it is penance for the original sin)? Or is the act that leads to birth sinning.

Why can’t MY GOD be as I am…..a Human being?

A Human Being who stood out, because of his deeds and his qualities, a human being who loved one and all.
That is what is Jesus for me; not somebody who was unique because he was born to a virgin. I would probably never believe in this theory of his unusual birth, even if the gospels say so.

Let's just remember what he taught us ,not what they think of him.

Here's to the crazy ones....

This one I read somewhere on the web....

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written? Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?We make tools for these kinds of people. While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do".
--Apple Computer Advertisement

"Cheers to crazy ones, who change the world,the world that they made beautiful before I was born and hope they make it even better before I die".
--anubhav,march 21,2005.

hey was that quote or misquote....... ,probably regret writing that.4.30 in the morning I am really sleepy don't know when I am going to get up for college..lazy as I am.

Google Bombing

OK, if you don’t believe what you see, try this before reading on, go to http://www.google.com/ and type “miserable failure” in the search box. The first result will be a link to biography George W Bush.

This is called “Google Bombing”.

So, How The Hell Does it work?..
A Google bombing is attempted to influence the ranking of page, for given query, in the results returned by Google. The technique takes advantage of PageRank technology. Larry Page and Sergey Brin, founders of Google, started by working on a search engine called BackRub, named for its unique ability to analyze the "back links" pointing to a given website. This is the stepping stone of the PageRank technology. Google defines Page Rank as …

“PageRank performs an objective measurement of the importance of web pages by solving an equation of more than 500 million variables and 2 billion terms. Instead of counting direct links, PageRank interprets a link from Page A to Page B as a vote for Page B by Page A. PageRank then assesses a page's importance by the number of votes it receives.”

Now don’t bore me anubhav….

Ok, in simple terms, for example in our case of “miserable failure” if they are many sites which link to Bush’s biography under the name “miserable failure” then his biography(site) gets the top rank for the query “miserable failure” even if the site does not have the term “miserable failure”.

Frankly speaking in itself PageRank is a great Technology, but as the say “For every crack there is a Hack” …. We have Google bombing.

Apart from spoofing on famous people, Google bombing can also be used for commercial purposes to upgrade a rank of your own site.

So how do I Bomb Google…

The most common way of doing this, create many blogs having links pointing to particular site.

Google Bombs (those for meant humor) are self destructible, because when they become famous, they find a note in many web journals and articles on various websites and the bomb is knocked out of it’s top spot.


Some famous Google Bombs…..

1. “Weapons of mass destruction” - Internet Explorer Error look-alike joke page saying "weapons of mass destruction cannot be found".

2. “French military victories” - hoax, Google look-a-like page saying "no results found for French military victories, did you mean French military defeats (hey this one still works).

3. “Miserable failure”, “worst president”, and “great president” - whitehouse.gov biography of George W. Bush.

4. “"More evil than Satan " returned Microsoft's home page: This was one of first bombs, but doesn’t work this days.

They are many more but these are the more famous ones.

Unity and relativity

Well I don't know whether the game would unite us or not but it will surely bring the people from the two countries closer to each other.In the past three years Indo-Pak unity has taken more successful strides than ever, after the partition.I think that people from both the countries want peace and probably it's just the political circumstances that have lead to such a bloody history.

Shake Hands

U.S. secetary of state of Condoleeza Rice arrived today in India and had meeting with country's external affairs minister K Natwar Singh.India expressed concern over the sale of F-16 fighters to Pakistan and Rice said at the press conference said they were discussing sale of F-16 to both India and Pak....(great strategy ..isn't it...don't we see this policy as a classic derivative of what was used by British....And they said they always wanted to end terrorism and establish peace in south asia he!he!.....humour at it's best)

Albert Einstein

He really seems to enjoy the ride.....

Ten Commandments for an engineering student

My last two posts have been, more on the serious side….so here’s something more light (Well it throws a lot of light on my engineering side)

1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.(Well this doesn’t apply to NIT ppl like me coz we don’t have a pl…so here’s a sub)/Thou shalt study only the day before your exams.

2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself(Protocols like FTP and GT(Glass tracing ) rule).

3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the morning of submission. (And it should never be written thyself...don't violate the 2nd Commandment)

4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.

5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in the canteen.(I have 80% ….after all I am an electronics engineer)

6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.(You can always console thyself by saying “There’s always the next semester, until of course the last semester”)

7. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being present...PROXY is a MUST. (And vice –versa….mutual co-operation)

8. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.(Probably the only way I manage to pass my vivas)

9. Thou shalt always do night-outs.

10. Thou shalt bunk classes on a regular basis and actively organize mass bunks.

Any additions to this list are invited....hail the engineering spirit.

Sex(y) journalism

We all know that nothing sells like sex and probably recent dare bare acts in pop videos and Hindi cinema established this beyond doubt. But should news media also use this formula, if so, then we are surely moving in the wrong direction.

"Shakti Kapoor caught on tape, cries foul."

This is today's front page, bottom half, headline of a newspaper which claims itself as the best in the country. Astonishingly in the same issue news related to a bus accident just manages to get some place on page 3.Well, talk about page 3 journalism (which probably is another waste of newspaper media…hey but the movie was gr8..Get back to topic …anubhav) we soon might have all pages 1,2,3 occupied with stories like these.

This is just not the state of newspapers but all T.V. news channel are replete with such stories. Recall Kareena and her beau Shaheed’s kissing stint which was broadcasted over on electronic media for days, with even the prime time news showing the whole smooch, the D.P.S. scandal which was probably the hot news for more than a month. The list is pretty long and I would have to consider writing another blog If I were to write about all of them.

Danger Ahead: (why do I write this, all the part above this in my blogs are facts and below are my thoughts)

A country with a population running into billions; downtrodden by evils like rapes, kidnapping, political scandals I think that the news media has more important matters to report than the sleazy stuff it is getting into these days. Does this actually refer the mentality of the people this media reaches? Probably they would argue that this is what readers are interested in (dude don’t tell me u were not interested all the above scandals…), but even then the importance given these matters is just too much! Journalism is a very important industry of a country.
What the Indian industry is doing these days is probably not journalism

PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD, PLEASE USE IT JUDICIOUSLY

P.S. hey I forgot write about politically biased nature of Indian news media, if you would have realized some of the T.V. channels or newspapers are more biased towards a particular political party, probably that is even more very dangerous, but then you can expect anything politics.

75 years ago...

Wednesday, march 12 1930
6.30 am:
The great man, sets out on foot for dandi from Ahemdabad, a journey of 240 miles, to break the salt law.75 years later they try to retrace his path.
'Mahatma' as we know him, perhaps the greatest Indian ever, did more than anybody else for India’s independence. (Now don't write an essay on him...you already did that in your 7th grade).


CAUTION: DANGER AHEAD
75 years later we retrace his path; we remember his sacrifices, works, hardships, achievements, failures but not his teachings. Perhaps in the case of every great personality, be it anybody from Guru Nanak to Jesus Christ or Martin Luther King to Mahatma Gandhi, we remember their birthdays, death anniversaries, but we forget only thing they would have wanted us to remember: their teachings. We started fighting day after Gandhi died and continue till this day. We put their portraits in offices and houses (Hindi film inspiration eh...?) But never honor them by practicing what they taught us. INDIVIDUALS HAVE BECOME GREATER THAN PRINCIPLES AND THEIR OWN IDEALS. You would say when we remember them, we remember what they practiced and preached, but that never seems to happen. IDEALS have become what they are meant to be “Philosophical teachings which are abstract”.

sane start

"Life,they say, is trying things just to see if they work"

This probably sums up my new endeavour : Blogging.